2021.09.16 17:36 GLESK0SAURUS Dj Bop - Galactic Disc - Torin's Lightblade
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2021.09.16 17:36 NoResolution6215 Need some advice on quitting my PhD
Hi everyone, I am 2 years into my engineering PhD in the UK, have another 1-1.5 years to go, and I am experiencing a lot of difficulties. I wonder if I could get some advice? I don’t really have anyone in my life I can ask about this that isn’t heavily biased. I predict this will be a very long post so please bear with me.
I need to decide whether to quit my PhD. My options are: 1. Give up and leave the PhD now with nothing to show for it, 2. Spend probably a few more months working for an MPhil, 3. Continue to finish the PhD.
Ideally, of course I would love to get the PhD. I have already spent 2 years of my life on this. However, I just don’t know how it would be possible. I am experiencing a lot of problems with my mental health; I have never felt so depressed in my life and I have bad social anxiety. I have given up on taking care of myself. I am very isolated and lonely, I have not one friend aside from my boyfriend and feel extremely distant from my family. I feel like I am on the edge of a breakdown. I hate almost everything about my life now, and these feelings appear to be getting worse over time. I VERY quickly started to feel depressed upon starting my PhD and was referred for some therapy a year ago. However, I feel no better for it and the depression is only getting worse. I really worry about myself when I think of spending another 1-1.5 years like this.
In my undergrad, I was extremely disciplined & hard-working. I never dreamed I would struggle to make myself work. However, the extreme hopelessness and complete lack of motivation stop me from doing any work. This then makes me feel terribly guilty. It is now Thursday and, this week, I have read a few emails and that is literally it. I just CAN NOT make myself do any work. I try, but I just can’t find any motivation. I am supposed to be submitting a big report in 2 weeks’ time but I can’t even start it. How on Earth will I be able to get myself to do the rest of my experiments AND write up an entire thesis when I can’t even do the smallest thing? I can not see how I will possibly go for another 1+ years to finish this PhD.
I have times where I finally find an inkling of motivation and think “yeah I really want to get this PhD no matter how difficult it is” and manage to pull myself out of the rut and do a small amount of work. Even then I will manage max 3-4 hours of work per day, but this usually lasts up to a week and I inevitably fall back into the rut. It’s like a cycle, and the “out of the rut” part of this cycle is getting shorter and shorter. It becomes harder to pull myself out each time. I don’t know how to explain it, but I don’t even feel I have a choice in whether I work or not. Before my PhD, I would have said “stop being so lazy and just choose to work”, but I just can NOT. I honestly cannot make myself.
I have no passion for my subject whatsoever, and never did. I went into engineering initially because I really enjoyed maths/science and was told it was the best option if I wanted a job. I realised I found it boring in my undergraduate degree, but my parents pushed me into a master’s. After graduating, I had no idea what I wanted to do and was really good at engineering, so I was offered a PhD position with little effort and took it. Of course, with hindsight, I now realise this is a terrible reason to do a PhD.
From the beginning, my supervisor has been very little help. I have had little guidance throughout and have had to figure almost everything out alone. Sometimes it even feels like they are actually trying to make this more difficult for me. I know a PhD is supposed to be more independent than undergraduate study, but I feel like I could have made the same (or better) progress with no supervisor at all.
I’ve known this PhD is wrong from day 1. I gave it a good chance but after 3 months, it was quite clear I should not be doing it. This was the first point I seriously considered leaving. I spoke with my parents, my boyfriend, his family, other researchers, and my supervisor for advice. My supervisor gave me 2 weeks to make a decision, saying I needed to leave quickly if I was going to so that they could allocate my funding to another student. I didn’t want to be pressured into leaving, so I decided to stay on and see how far I get. My parents were also extremely against me leaving, and other researchers encouraged me to give it at least a year, so I did.
Little changed since then and I have decided to leave about 20 times but could never take the plunge and always ended up bottling it. I am now 2 years in and so annoyed at myself for not leaving earlier. I have wasted so much of my time and money (I would have been earning much more in a job than the funding I receive) and can feel myself completely burning out. I won’t get to the end I am sure.
I recently told my supervisor that I don’t want to go into academia and want to focus on finishing as soon as I possibly can. I won’t be trying to produce a really good thesis, just a passable thesis. I thought lightening the workload like this would help me feel more motivated to finish, but it hasn’t done anything to help. It’s continued to get worse.
I haven’t discussed leaving with my supervisor since that first conversation as it was clear they were not going to be very helpful and would put pressure on me to suit their best interests. I have tried speaking to my tutor for advice on how to convert to MPhil, but they would not let me explain my problems without interrupting me and basically said an MPhil would be worthless. I spoke to the university counsellor as well, but they didn’t really know enough about PhD study to give any useful advice.
I haven’t asked my parents for advice since that first time either, as it was evident they are heavily biased and don’t prioritise my mental wellbeing. This really hurt me and I still hold anger about it. I told them I was struggling with depression, but they never ask me about it and now actively ignore any negative comments I make about the PhD. I don’t feel I can speak to my boyfriend’s family either as (although they do value my happiness) they don’t have any experience with university whatsoever. The only person I can really speak to is my boyfriend, who has been exceptionally amazing and supportive throughout, but one person’s support/advice is not much to go on. I know my problems are also becoming a burden on him and I hate that.
I am certain I don’t want a career in academia. I couldn’t think of anything worse. I want to get out of it as soon as I can, but I don’t know how to deal with wasting the past 2 years of my life if I just leave. I worry about the career implications it might have for me. At least if I battled through to the end I could get a PhD out of it, or another few months and I could get an MPhil. But I genuinely don’t know if I can keep going any longer.
I have a deferred offer for a reasonably well paid, non-engineering job that I can take up whenever I am ready so I am fortunate in that respect. I just don’t know if I could accept my failure in giving up. I feel trapped because all potential decisions seem extremely difficult in different ways:
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2021.09.16 17:36 AutoNewspaperAdmin [Politics] - McAuliffe, Youngkin report record summer fundraising hauls in Virginia governor's race | The Hill
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2021.09.16 17:36 Large-King8990 6 different puzzles
Most of these are easy but some will stump you,
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2021.09.16 17:36 SADdog2020Pb What unexpected ingredient can take a classic dish to the next level?
2021.09.16 17:36 Beemer2 Painting mirrors/Touch ups
Has anyone ever used this website before to get matching paint code paints?
I was thinking of doing some touchups as well as paint my mirrors.
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2021.09.16 17:36 electionnerd [Spoilers Main] Jaime’s hypothetical KingsGuard
2021.09.16 17:36 ICEGOD69 Looks like when the stock go up the printer go brrrrrrrrr
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2021.09.16 17:36 40ksted Reminder : AQUA airdrop today. Check yer’ wallets
2021.09.16 17:36 armsofatree Ripple's Gaming Juggernaut
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2021.09.16 17:36 JiffTheJester Watching VCT is awesome, but it definitely makes me wish us normal players had some sort of map choice when playing the game.
I understand the position of wanting everyone to have to play all the maps, and I know the map pool isn’t that big. I don’t expect an actual server selection like counter strike. However, I do think a simple vote to skip option would be fitting. Maybe if 7/10 players in the lobby vote it could just randomly select a different map or something. It’s brutal to get the same map over and over, especially if you’re playing competitive. I’m sure this has been discussed before but I don’t see it mentioned as often as I’d expect. Do the rest of you feel the same?
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2021.09.16 17:36 Naturedudephos Wouldn't it be nice?
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2021.09.16 17:36 Independent_Road4365 Join the LEAKED ONLYFANS | 18+ Discord Server!
2021.09.16 17:36 el7amdellah 2 month old conch infected or irritated?
2021.09.16 17:36 AutoNewspaperAdmin [Politics] - Pence aiming to raise $18M ahead of possible 2024 run: report | The Hill
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2021.09.16 17:36 AfeefaKhan Hi, I know this is too much, but I was wondering if someone could help me answer all these questions, and then explain why the answer is what it is? Thanks, this is just a practice assignment. I would really appreciate it.
Consider the following scenario: JSM Manufacturing is a small, local company that manufactures personal protective equipment, such as surgical masks, gowns, and face shields. The company relies on a network of suppliers of raw materials, transportation providers, and for other required products and services. These vendors receive purchase orders from JSM for materials and services, and typically ship directly to JSM’s manufacturing facility. Invoices are sent to JSM’s accounts payable department for payment processing, which receives, verifies, and processes approximately 200 invoices per month.
JSM’s accounts payable department consists of one (1) person who is responsible for verifying the invoices before paying them.
2021.09.16 17:36 Abstract_Only Scientists review the current evidence supporting ketamine as a therapeutic for treatment-resistant depression (TRD) and find that due to its efficacy and tolerability this psychedelic compound should be used before the 2nd generation antipsychotic drugs when treating TRD
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2021.09.16 17:36 RengawRoinuj Free trial question about Regalia.
2021.09.16 17:36 reddit_feed_bot Fox News Politics: Biden appears to forget Australian prime minister's name
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2021.09.16 17:36 Western_Spirit_398 A good restaraunt-style queso dip? (UPDATE)
12 oz can evaporated milk
~7oz shredded American cheese (deli block, not preshredded or sliced)
~7oz shredded mix of pepperjack and cheddar (again, block not preshredded)
1 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp onion powder
Heat milk in heavy bottom pan. Stir in American cheese until fully incorporated. Stir in other cheese, removing from heat half way, and stirring continually. Stir in seasonings.
This recipe got me a real good color, texture, and consistency that I wanted. I was particularly happy to not have to use any flour or cornstarch as I'm not super fond of that texture and honestly I wanted something thinner and more "drizzly".
From my previous post it sounded like sodium citrate was a must, and that American cheese is a fairly common ingredient so I went with 50% of the cheese as that. I also read more than once that evaporated milk was a better alternative to cream or half-and-half (although I'd like to try it with that as well). I'm really happy with this outcome although I wish I had some pickled hot peppers to finely dice and mix in.
The cheese flavor isn't super sharp or prominent which is something I'd like to figure out. Not sure about the seasoning choices either but it tastes good and will be good to use all this week on various dishes. I'm also glad I didn't use Velveeta. Not that I have anything against it, but it has a color and flavor I wasn't super excited for.
All in all pretty happy with this outcome.
(previous post: https://www.reddit.com/Cooking/comments/pnfbj9/a_good_restarauntstyle_queso_dip/)
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2021.09.16 17:36 MathematicianDue889 People that like TLOK more than ATLA, what are your reasons?
2021.09.16 17:36 dcdonut21 For science: OPKs taken at 7:45 AM and 10:30 AM CD 15
2021.09.16 17:36 Electronic_Care6299 probably my favorite (real car) casting this year
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2021.09.16 17:36 Rekignition Pig tooltip error